Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
