...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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