Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
