At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
