i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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