I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
