This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
