My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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