Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
