I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize