her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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