i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
