then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
