i would punch a child for taco bell
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
