how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
