Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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