Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
