i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
