I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
