Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
