Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
