so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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