his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
