BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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