after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
BRING THE BAGELS
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sext me about skeletons
Damn victory sex feels great
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
