ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
