I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
