I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
