so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
