Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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