Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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