how can u be prego again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
