But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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