when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize