found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
