R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
