in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
