yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
