Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize