you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
