I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
