if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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