okay pat passed out under dana's car
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
