I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
