Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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