i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
