you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
