I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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