Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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