Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
jump out the window naked night went bad
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
