Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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