the day after is always just damage control
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
