I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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