Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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