I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
