I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
