Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
