Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
