they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
